Urgh Essays

[snarzzy]

April 07, 2024, 21:18

As much as I like to read and write fan works I despise writing essays. There is a program that most people go into after leaving my school and it has a strong focus on writing and creativity. I had to join another program because I am not the most creative person on earth and I am the WORST at essays. My teacher says I'm a great writer and my friends agree, but the essays at school are so boring and VERY draining. The problem is I end up putting them aside and doing them last minute making it harder to manage new assignments that I could've done. I don't really like using AI on work, but for these assignments I get desperate. I don't directly copy and paste what  AI gives me although it would be so much easier that way. Instead I paraphrase it and change it up into something I would more likely write. It is more of a base for ideas rather than the answers to my problems.

Reports cards are soon and my parents are going to have my head on a stick if I don't get it tf together. I can hear my brain trying to tell myself 'It's fine, It's not your fault, You just missed some school days' BUT I KNOW DAMN WELL IT IS BECAUSE MY TERRIBLE SELF CONTROL AND PROCRASTINATION. I know I can fix this but I just don't and in the end it's gonna suck. Even now I am procrastinating by writing this. 

The school year is coming to an end and I have a bunch of new music for auditions, to develop a repertoire, for performances, and even some competitions. So much is going on!! (ಥ﹏ಥ) I'm really excited for all of this new stuff, but I know damn well unless I get my grades up, I'm fucked. If I don't pass I can't participate in anything!!

To make matters worse, It's exam season! After the eclipse on Monday there's a STAAR TEST!! Everyone hates that test, from the teachers to the students. I'm sure i'll do fine but I'm still a little worried.

I am revisiting a playlist I haven't listened to science the 6th grade and I think it will bring be back into focus as long as I have both earbuds in. I have always had a liking for classical music but honestly I have had an interest in electronic music longer. I was going through a really dramatic and tough time in 6th grade with a bunch of new changes and a new fast paced lifestyle. The music calmed my nerves with the way it itched my brain. I just kinda zone out and next thing you know the work is finished.